For Your Amusement...Park

Jan 12, 2018
Originally published on June 8, 2018 10:02 am

Is the Screamin' Gator Zip Line a real or fake amusement park attraction? We describe a park or attraction, and our contestants guess if it's real, or one we made up.

Heard on Luka Kain: Pikachu, Strike A Pose

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JONATHAN COULTON: From NPR and WNYC, coming to you from The Bell House in beautiful Brooklyn, N.Y., it's NPR's hour of puzzles, word games and trivia - ASK ME ANOTHER. I'm Jonathan Coulton. Now here's your host, Ophira Eisenberg.



Thank you, Jonathan. We've got a great show for you. Four brilliant contestants have already abandoned their New Year's resolutions, but they are here to play our nerdy games. And one of them will be our big winner. And our special guest is breakout star Luka Kain from the LGBT movie "Saturday Church." And get this - he's only 17 years old, which means the only two people he can be jealous of are Shirley Temple and Wolfgang Mozart. You know what I was doing when I was 17? Pretending to be 21.


EISENBERG: Our first two contestants waited in line four hours to play a game that lasts four minutes. Let's meet them. First up, Nina Glickman on buzzer No. 1.


EISENBERG: You advise students at an education nonprofit. Welcome.

NINA GLICKMAN: Thank you. Great to be here.

EISENBERG: Your opponent is Kate Scott on buzzer No. 2.


EISENBERG: You're the house manager at a performing arts center. Welcome.

KATE SCOTT: Thanks. Great to be here.

EISENBERG: Nina and Kate, the first of you who wins two of our games will go on to the final round. This is a guessing game called For Your Amusement Park. We'll describe an amusement park or attraction, you tell us if it's real or something we made up. And we're going to alternate back and forth, so no need to ring in. Here we go.

Nina - Gator Land. If you survive the Screaming Gator Zip Line, you can hand-feed live alligators. Real or Fake?

GLICKMAN: I want that to be real, but I think it's fake.

EISENBERG: I'm sorry, that...

GLICKMAN: Oh, my God.

EISENBERG: ...Is real.


EISENBERG: Yeah, that's in Orlando. Yeah. That's exactly...

GLICKMAN: Of course it is (laughter).

EISENBERG: And you get - right, if you survive the zip line, you get to feed the alligators. And if you don't survive, I guess they fall.

GLICKMAN: That seems like a bad idea.


COULTON: I guess you also get to feed the alligators.

EISENBERG: Yeah, exactly.


COULTON: It's kind of a win-win.

EISENBERG: For the gators - just the gators.

COULTON: For the gators. Kate - BonBon-Land. At this European theme park, there's a ride called Hundeprutterutchebane, which is Danish for dog fart roller coaster.


COULTON: Real or fake?

SCOTT: It has to be fake.

COULTON: You would think so, but no. It's real.


COULTON: I'll just tell you because you're curious. Why is it called Dog Fart Roller Coaster?


COULTON: The amusement park was opened by a candy manufacturer that makes disgusting named candies. And one of them is dog farts.

SCOTT: Ew, wow. That's gross.

COULTON: You still don't know why it's called Dog Fart Roller Coaster, though.

EISENBERG: Nina - City of Children. Kids learn about democracy by electing their own congress and filling out loan applications. Real or fake?

GLICKMAN: Fake? (Laughter).



EISENBERG: It's in Argentina. Kids scream to go to this amusement park. They are so excited.

COULTON: The kids love getting loans.


EISENBERG: They get them denied all the time?


EISENBERG: Yeah, it's a good lesson.

COULTON: Kids have terrible credit, so none of them get loans.

Kate - Diggerland, a place for little kids and heavy machinery to come together. Drive a dump truck or get in a giant bucket and let an excavator spin you around.

SCOTT: If I had kids, I would not take them there, but I think it's real.

COULTON: It is real. You're correct.


EISENBERG: Nina - Night Walk. At a park in Mexico, you can experience what crossing the U.S.-Mexico border is really like...


EISENBERG: ...As you try to get past attack dogs and border agents.

GLICKMAN: The thing is, I heard about this on NPR.


GLICKMAN: And it's...

EISENBERG: Don't go bragging.

GLICKMAN: ...So it's real (laughter).

EISENBERG: It is real. Yeah, it is real.


COULTON: I will say, it seems a little unfair for you to use actual knowledge in answering these questions.


GLICKMAN: I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry. I won't do it again.

COULTON: Kate, this is for you - The Accusement Park.


COULTON: At this justice system theme park, you'll be falsely accused of a heinous crime and have to defend yourself. Real or Fake?

SCOTT: I once went to one of those, like, Wild West park places, so...

COULTON: "Westworld?"


SCOTT: If only. I think it's real.

COULTON: I'm sorry, it is fake.

EISENBERG: Here are your last clues. Nina, Five Banners - a lesser-known knockoff of Six Flags.



EISENBERG: Yeah, that's fake. That's fake. That's fake. Yeah, yeah, yeah.


COULTON: Kate - Paul Bunyan Land, where visitors are greeted by a 26-foot-tall statue of Paul Bunyan with size-80 boots.

SCOTT: Real.

COULTON: It is real. That's right.


EISENBERG: All right. Puzzle guru Art Chung, how did our contestants do?

ART CHUNG: We have a tie, so we're going to a sudden death tiebreaker. Buzz in the answer, but if you guess incorrectly, your opponent automatically wins. Here we go. SkyMall Land - a theme park featuring past SkyMall products.


CHUNG: Kate.

SCOTT: Fake.

CHUNG: You're correct. Well done.


CHUNG: Congratulations, Kate. You won that game and are one step closer to the final round.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.