Editor's note: This story includes thoughts of suicide. Please use discretion.
On a hot day, in a rush to get her COVID-19 test and return to work, Tara’s car broke down. She sat there, waiting for a tow truck and fearing all the paperwork left for her to do at the veteran's resource center. That day Tara decided to quit her job and realized that she needed to focus on her mental health.
Since her service in the Air Force as a supplier and recruiter and deployment in Saudi Arabia in the 1990s, Tara says she hasn't been the same and didn't know why.
She suffered from anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder caused by sexual trauma she experienced when in the military. But she learned about it much later.
We're not using Tara's last name because she's afraid her assaulter and people she worked with might find her.
She said the PTSD impacted both her personal life and work.
“Being a veteran and working with veterans is hard, especially if you have your own baggage,” she said. “As an empathetic person, I was bringing home their feelings and what they had, and I just was struggling and didn't know it.
“I was focusing so much on the students' problems, I wasn't getting my work done. ... It was eating me up. It was making my depression worse, because I'm a perfectionist.”
In her job at Central Michigan University's veterans resource center, she used to connect people with mental health resources all the time, she said, but never thought of seeking help herself.
What Tara called a “light bulb moment” happened when she attempted suicide.
“It was 2019, I didn't even realize it was a couple days after my daughter's birthday, and she had come home that day to celebrate her birthday,” Tara said. “If you're someone who's attempted it, you don't realize how much it impacts the whole family.”
Tara said she never understood why she attempted it that day. She called the Veterans Crisis Line, which helped her.
Then, she started working with the VA and the military sexual trauma coordinator and began remembering things that have also caused her PTSD. It was trauma from surviving sexual violence three times when in the military.
“It's not easy,” she said. “I started remembering things that did happen to me I didn't know happened. I remembered something from training that I was assaulted in training that I just completely forgot.
“I reached out to the military sexual trauma coordinator, and finally admitted what had happened to me. My VA looked at my records and admitted that, yes, what happened to me did happen.”
The Veteran Affairs covered Tara’s psychiatric counseling as she started getting help slowly, even though hesitant at first, she said.
“If it wasn't for the VA and my private counselor, I would be dead right now,” she said.
But Tara isn't alone in this trauma.
According to the Department of Defense’s Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Office data, there were 8,195 reports of sexual assault involving members of the United States Armed Forces in 2024.
U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs data also shows that suicide was the 12th-leading cause of death for veterans in 2022, and there were 6,407 veteran suicide deaths.
Wendy Shultz, a suicide prevention program manager with the VA in Saginaw, said veterans are at a higher risk of death by suicide because of the deployments, challenges with transitioning to civilian life, combat exposures and sexual trauma.
“Surviving both the sexual assault and or suicide attempt, it can lead to what we would call more complex PTSD, or it can trigger different kinds of severe trauma-related symptoms that can impact daily functioning, their relationships and their own sense of self identity,” Shultz said.
“But it can also bring a sense of resiliency and strength by showing that even though they carry this pain, that they are a survivor, and that's ultimately what we hope to help get them to that stage in with the mental health treatment.”
However, the emphasis on strength in the military culture can also lead to stigmatizing mental health issues and preventing veterans from seeking help, Shultz said.
Hearing stories of other veterans going through mental health treatment can help with dismissing that stigma, Shultz said. The VA’s website has videos about specific resources for certain mental health topics and stories of the veterans.
Shultz advises veterans to get connected with the VA as it can offer care and different therapy options. The VA’s website also provides a search tool for the nearest local VA locations, self-help resources and benefits guide. A veteran can also download a free mobile app related to a mental health topic.
“We do have a variety of psychotherapy treatment options that are evidenced based with trauma-informed therapists that can assist them with whatever mental health symptoms that they have going on,” she said.
The VA also shares contact information about several resources available for veterans seeking help:
- Veterans Crisis Line for anytime day or night: 988, then press 1
- War Vet Call Center: 1-877-927-8387
- Women Veterans Call Center: 1-855-VA-Women
- Real Warriors provides resources for psychological health and PTSD: 1-866-966-1020
With time, Tara began to get better as well. She became more proactive in psychiatric care and joined support groups.
"I was becoming a different person, just better, healthier," she said.
Today, she said she’s sharing her story to advocate for the support of veterans and the services they need. For example, Tara said it’s important to preserve and invest in programs like sexual assault training in the military, she said.
For non-veterans, Shultz said the best thing they can do to support veterans is to connect with them.
“As humans, we have a strong instinct to belong to small groups, and that connection is the key to our psychological survival,” she said. “It's an important protective factor for all of us, including veterans, so we are stronger together.”
Shultz said some of the ways to connect is to welcome them home when they come back from deployment, invite them for dinner, ask them how they’re doing and listen when they’re ready to share their story.
Tara added that you have to really mean it when you offer your support.
“You need to do it for real, and not just saying, ‘I support vets,’” Tara said. “You have to also support us when we come home and support our care. Because if you want us to go to war, and ... you have to support us when we come back home and we're not the same.”
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If you're a veteran, dial 988, then press one.
