Stephen Recchia is a 73-year-old retiree from Interlochen. He's voted for Democrats and Republicans, but last year he voted for Kamala Harris. He said about half of his friends and family members vote Republican. However, they never talk about politics.
"What I find is when I try to discuss this with the Republicans in my family, they're very ardent. And there is no discussion,” he said.
Recchia said he would like to talk more openly about politics with the people around him.
"And I kind of wish there would be. I mean, you can do it in movies, you can do it about actors, you can do it about books, but at some point, when you feel like you can't discuss anymore, there's no discussion," Recchia said.
Recchia’s experience is increasingly common. Relationships are being tested by political discourse across the country. A 2023 Pew Research survey found that 63% of Americans find conversations with people they disagree with “stressful and frustrating.”
Listeners sent WCMU emails about their experiences with politics and family.
Tanya Paiges said she is a moderate independent, and since 2016, has rarely had a calm talk about politics, even with family. Another listener, Patrick Graham, said he was disowned by his sister-in-law after she found out who he voted for.
Thomas Greitens is a political science professor at Central Michigan University. He said, anecdotally, a lot of Americans stay in information bubbles, until they have to interact with their families, and that causes tension.
"Families, when they get back together on Thanksgiving, Christmas, or the holidays or what have you, they've been in their own bubble, depending on where they live and what they're listening to,” Greitens said. "When they finally get together and start talking to one another, it might be the first time they've talked to the other side in like a year or something.”
Greitens says that polarization isn’t a new trend. “I think it's been building probably for at least two decades,” he said.
The professor cited a decline in support for social science teaching in schools, a trend he called the “citizenship deficit” and increasing de-facto segregation by income and politics.
“Even if you go to a school where they have all that social interaction, social studies, good government classes. You're probably not interacting with individuals that are that much different from you.”
The non-profit organization Braver Angels is working to smooth over tensions. They're a nationwide nonpartisan group that invites local community members to free workshops to discuss politics amicably. Their name is a reference to a speech by President Abraham Lincoln.
The group hosted a workshop called Families and Politics in Traverse City in December, around a dozen people showed up.
Terry Donahue Cousins of Traverse City is a retired healthcare worker and a moderator for the group’s conversations. She said the workshops were focused on promoting understanding and empathy. She gave an example of an attendee who explained why they supported gun control.
"I had a conversation with a woman whose spouse had just been through a mass shooting. He wasn't injured, but he was in the experience. She told the group that, and that is going to, number one, in most people, evoke some empathy, and this work is kind of based, is based in empathy.”
Terry is what Braver Angels calls a blue, or left-leaning, moderator. She often works with Brent Swensen, a red, or right-leaning moderator. He says his work at Kensington Church in Traverse City influences his perspectives on discourse.
"It's a little bit easier to come to the middle because we're not putting all of our eggs into a political basket. Our hope is in our faith in Jesus."
He said the Braver Angels workshops were focused on breaking down and understanding toxic conversation dynamics for the attendees. He described how, in political conversations, people in take up certain roles.
There are gladiators, who often seek to start debates, defenders, who are focused on countering arguments, peacekeepers, who try to avoid all conversation and zingers.
"Just like to put zingers in conversations when like you're around the dinner table,” he said. “’Hey, you Trump hater or you Trump supporter…how's our resident, liberal feel about this,’” he described.
Swensen said that the workshops aren’t debate forums and are intended to provide insight into beliefs, the group tries to have an equal number of “red” and “blue” participants for workshops.
Ultimately, Braver Angels seeks to train people to be an engager, as Swensen called it “someone who wants to have respectful conversations across differences, and that's kind of what the workshop is about, like how to be a better engager in the context.”
Swensen says attendees, like the ones in Traverse City, get a lot from the workshops.
"In general, after the event, there was kind of a collective sigh of relief, like they felt like they had some tools to engage," he said. “Relationships are most important and those last longer than political swings one way or the other.”
Braver Angels hosts workshops and meetings across the state, you can find dates and times on their website.
