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Not Forgotten: Assisted living residents reflect on pandemic hardships

Noelle Riley

COVID-19 wreaked havoc on every sector of society, especially the elderly population.

For months, many seniors were confined to assisted living and nursing home facilities. They no longer had visitors because of coronavirus restrictions.

But now, many are able to get hugs from their friends and family.

It was a long-haul for two northern Michigan matriarchs at an adult care home in Elk Rapids. 

They’re two of five residents there, and the facility can house up to eight.

No coronavirus cases hit there, but other implications set in, and Jane White remembers how she felt when she no longer received visitors during the pandemic lockdown. 

Credit Noelle Riley
Jane White holds a picture of her late husband, Versil White, who passed away in 2013.

“Kinda lost. Because the kids come to visit a lot. The kids, the grandkids and great-grandkids. And all of the sudden, there’s nothing. But it was very noticeable that something was going on,” Jane said.

She’s 95 years old, nearly blind and has a difficult time hearing, and she’s lived at Cherry Suite Assisted Living in Elk Rapids for nearly two years.

On this particular day, her daughter-in-law, Judy Husby was visiting. She reflected on the pandemic difficulties.

“It broke our hearts, because we knew how lonely she was. We were all so close but yet so far away. We could’ve been a thousand miles away, because we couldn’t see her, and it’s hard to talk to her on the phone,” Judy said.

Jane had three children, and two are still living. Judy was married to Jane’s son who passed away in 1998.

Jane also has seven grandkids and seven great grandkids.

She and her husband Versil raised their kids less than a mile from Cherry Suite Assisted Living. They ran the White Farm, selling cherries, apples, peaches, plums and apricots, to name a few.

Jane also taught sewing to 4-H kids for 49 years in Elk Rapids. Everyone knew her and her husband.

Versil passed in 2013, and she misses him dearly.

“He was the greatest guy on earth,” she said.

Jane’s family douses her in attention and everyone missed visiting her over the last year, Judy said.

“So we pretty much had to rely on talking to the staff here on how she was doing and checking in, but it was very, very, very difficult,” she said. “Because we all come. She has not only her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren… she has her nieces and nephews that stop too… because we all kind of live in the area and it came to a screeching halt.”

Pre-pandemic, Jane would see family members once or twice a week.

But that stopped, and it was difficult to do window visits since she has a tough time seeing and hearing.

To make things worse, Jane can’t watch television or read books.

So, to provide some entertainment, her family bought her an audio player to listen to books on tape that connected to her hearing aids. She listened to tons of books.

Betty Holzhauer is 104-years old and lives at Cherry Suite Assisted Living.

“Sometimes one a day, sometimes it was a long one and it took a couple of days to get through it, but I’d say eight or nine a week,” Jane said.

And then, in early March, the clouds finally broke on Michigan’s COVID-19 restrictions for adult care facilities. Jane was finally able to see one of her grandchildren.

“It tickled me to see how happy he was to see me,” she said.

She now gets visitors all the time.

Down the hall from Jane is her friend Betty Holzhauer. She was taking a nap, resting up for her 104th birthday celebration that evening.

Betty didn’t necessarily like the COVID-19 lockdown, but she works hard to stay positive.

“Everyone is hold up like your mask. People can’t come in. They can telephone. It’s not like it used to be, you can’t be friendly with anybody,” she said. “It’s a hardship for them and a hardship for me. But anyway, I don’t complain. They put up with me, I better put up with them.”

She had a big night ahead of her and had to get ready for her birthday party.

“They’re inviting me out to supper, so I’m supposed to take a rest and get dressed up. You know when you’re in your old clothes sitting around, you’re not dressed up very often, so you don’t know what to do (chuckles) and put on makeup and all that stuff,” she said.

Most of her family lives in Florida, but she has tons of friends in Elk Rapids, said Julie Yaroch who owns Cherry Suite Assisted Living with her mother, Mary Marzolo, who is a Registered Nurse.

“Betty is more than thrilled because she’s the socialite of the house. She knows the entire church over there in Elk Rapids. She’s got dozens and dozens of friends,” she said.

Yaroch also reflects on the hardship Covid-19 brought to Betty. Although they did not have any coronavirus infections, depression set in.

Credit Noelle Riley

“Betty went to a notably dim place. She didn’t have that spark that she usually does. She wasn’t as happy,” she said.

But she’s doing much better now.

“I don’t know… I’m so happy and so blessed to have so many friends,” she said.

So what can we do to help lift the spirits of our elderly loved ones? Yaroch has some advice.

“I think that if people could understand that even though they’re the aging population, or the aging part of our population, they still have those foundational needs, wants and desires like everybody else,” she said. They still yearn and long to connect with other people. They still want to be remembered. They still want to be loved, honored and respected. And they thrive when they get that. They absolutely thrive.”

And they are Not Forgotten.

Not forgotten music composed by Andy Middlemiss.

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